Ep. 5: Parasocial Relationships & You

Welcome back, hotties! 🤎😘

Photo by Surface on Unsplash

You know the gist, but we’ll say it again:

Welcome to the table—a safe, sexy, and unapologetic space where Black joy, creativity, community, and pleasure are always on the menu. The Unfriendly Black Hotties are here to educate & stimulate — and we love using our words to amplify Black voices through bold, unfiltered conversations.

Here at the lunch table, we keep it flavorful, colorful, and always authentic, diving deep into:

• Erotica

• Kink

• Love & Intimacy

• Romance

We're not here to compromise our truths — we're here to get off. So, turn us on. Lunch is served!

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🎙️ Episode 5: We are discussing the elephant in the room, parasocial relationships.

This might seem like a buzzword at this point or like something that’s been normalized, but the hotties would like to talk you through what it is and how we can combat that. Let's get into it, but before we do, let’s meet today’s Hotties.

• Dr. Dubs

• Summ’ah

• The Infamous Trisha Cheeks

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Why does this topic matter?

What is a parasocial interaction?

According to Merriam-Webster, a parasocial interaction (or PSI) is a semblance of interpersonal exchange in which members of an audience come to feel that they know a performer they have encountered in mass media (movies, television, social media apps, etc). Over time, PSIs with a performer may lead audience members to develop a parasocial relationship—a one-sided sense of connection with the performer.

• According to Resilience Labs, there a various types of parasocial relationships

  • Entertainment—social parasocial relationships: These interactions are often light-hearted and involve a sense of entertainment.

  • Intense—personal parasocial relationships: These relationships involve a deeper attachment and may start to affect real-life social interactions.

  • Borderline—pathological parasocial relationships: These are the most extreme types of parasocial relationships and can lead to behaviors such as stalking or violence.

Now, here is why we wanted to start this episode with stress statistics. Black women making self-care a priority isn’t selfish and should not be sidelined or maligned — it’s necessary and can be lifesaving.

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Ep. 5 Spotify Playlist

Need a break from what’s normally in your headphones? Have no fear: this week’s playlist is a non-stop lofi playlist.

Why lo-fi music? The science is clear, but is if for the times you need to do this:

Missed playlists 1-5? Check them out here.

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Resources & Tools

Online Therapy & Support

• Therapy for Black Girls

• Open Path Collective

• Inclusive Therapists

Media Literacy & Mental Health

• Read: “Attached” by Amir Levine (understanding emotional bonds)

• Listen: Where Should We Begin? by Esther Perel

• Watch: Psychology of Parasocial Relationships by Dr. Ali Mattu on YouTube

Apps to Stay Mindful

• Insight Timer (free meditations)

• Moodnotes (for journaling feelings & patterns)

• Circle or Geneva (find mutual-interest communities)

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📚 The Unfriendly Black Hotties Book List 📚

Dr. Dubs came back with a vengence as the BQC’s head congressional librarian. Here’s the list for episode 5:

• Only for the Week (2x) by Natasha Bishop

• Ella Get the D by Tanvier Peart

• The Relationship Mechanic by Karmen Lee

• The Broposal by Sonora Reyes

• Outdrawn by Deanna Grey

• Ready to Score by Jodi Slaughter

• Boys Come First by Aaron Foley

• Kiss Me Maybe by Gabriella Gamez

• I’ll Have What He’s Having by Adib Khorram

• Sula by Toni Morrison

• Dating Dr. Dil by Nisha Sharma

• Tastes Like Shakkar by Nisha Sharma

• The Great Man by Kyra Davis Lurie

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Like what you’ve heard on this and previous episodes? Follow and subscribe to “Lunch at the Unfriendly Black Hotties Table” podcast below:

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#health #intimacy #relationships #love #couples #BlackWomen #podcast #podcasts #kinks #audios #audioerotica #parasocialrelationships #onlineculture #stanculture #fandom #fanatics #celebrity #fame

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Sources for this podcast:

• https://www.findapsychologist.org/parasocial-relationships-the-nature-of-celebrity-fascinations/#:~:text=Parasocial%20relationships%20are%20one-sided,sports%20teams)%20or%20television%20stars

• https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/parasocial-relationships#:~:text=continues%20after%20advertisement-,Healthy%20and%20Unhealthy%20Parasocial%20Relationships,%2C%20in%20fact%2C%20quite%20common

• https://www.resiliencelab.us/thought-lab/parasocial-relationships#:~:text=There%20are%20three%20types%20of,personal%2C%20and%20borderline-pathological
  https://theweeklytalon.com/8764/features/when-fans-feel-like-friends-the-psychology-behind-parasocial-connections/#:~:text=Cynthia%20Vinney%2C%20PhD%2C%20defines%20a,persona%20is%20entirely%20unaware%20of

• https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/do-parasocial-relationships-fill-a-loneliness-gap-202409303074#:~:text=They%20might%20contribute%20to%20loneliness,a%20negative%20influence%20on%20you

• https://www.scribd.com/document/612628915/Giles2002-Parasocial-Interaction

• https://www.researchgate.net/publication/273292230_The_Influence_of_a_Scandal_on_Parasocial_Relationship_Parasocial_Interaction_and_Parasocial_Breakup

• https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/19376529.2020.1870467

• https://www.merriam-webster.com/slang/parasocial-interaction

• https://www.npr.org/2023/05/02/1173418268/loneliness-connection-mental-health-dementia-surgeon-general

• https://digitalcommons.csp.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1093&context=rss-posters

• https://www.researchgate.net/search/publication?q=parasocial+and+attachment+styles

• https://bigthink.com/neuropsych/parasocial-relationships-media/

• https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC8419286/

  OnlyFans, and the media's parasociality vortex